This episode is titled “Bonfire of the Vanity,” which is fitting, because Jenny finally learned what an unbearable scheming twat Agnes is while continuing her eyeliner tour of terror, Dan sacrificed every moral principle he ever had on the altar of Adam Moss, and Serena’s artist boyfriend wasted everybody’s time by continuing to be a manwhore. Also, everyone mocked Hazel for being single because they are vicious bitches and Blair wore a giant ruffle as a shirt.

Leeanne made this after a night on mescaline in Kitty Hawk.

Possibly the funniest thing I have seen on Gossip Girl this season was Blair chanting “GraceKellyGraceKelly GraceKelly” through her teeth as Wallace Shawn nattered on about $18 peonies. And one of the least realistic: No way does Eleanor Waldorf dig Cyndi Lauper. Blondie, yes. Cyndi, no. This week reinforced my belief that Dorota might just be the best character on this show. Not only is she the actual Cyndi fan in the penthouse, but she has the ability to throw together a fabulous rooftop party in the length of a Hampton jitney ride and, unlike Blair, she understands the critical difference between Eleanor’s paramours: The one who isn’t a closeted homosexual just might make the better partner (for a lady, that is). Blair, of course, does not get it, because Wallace Shawn is wee and vulgar and practical. Her deep, seething emotional wounds with regard to her mother, however, ensure that Blair can never let anyone be happy when she isn’t. (But seriously: Eleanor basically gave Blair a miserable eating disorder. She kind of deserved this.) Unfortunately for B, no one ever told her about getting involved in a land war in Asia. Or not to drink the cup in front of her. It’s nice that the little monster has finally met her match. Good thing death wasn’t on the line.

Over on the Dan Humphrey, Boy Reporter beat, 17-year-old Dan has apparently gotten a juicy feature assignment from New York magazine (apparently no one told Dan that print is dead), investigating Bart Bass. That right there is just a frigging genius idea, because if Bart doesn’t kill him, Chuck will. Dan’s also too stupid to realize that when you have a billionaire over a barrel, you at least make him pay for your freshman year at Yale. Christ, do I have to tell you everything, Dan?!

So Jenny still sucks. (Roommate: “No one ever told her how to be an effective emotional blackmailer, did they? You move home and play nice for a week then do whatever you want.”) After she and Agnes had a violent falling-out, complete with Agnes setting fire to all those ugly puffy dresses (HA!) while Jenny just STOOD THERE while Agnes doused them in lighter fluid and then sloooooooowly struck a whole pack of matches, Little J set out on her own, but quickly discovered that 15-year-olds aren’t allowed to sign binding business contracts and oops, she doesn’t have a place to live! Except for that gigantic loft with her permissive father! God, I am so tired of this Project Runway–meets–The Little Match Girl storyline. The only thing worse than “Jenny romps around the city footloose and gray matter–free” is “Rufus takes parenting advice from Dan.” Goddamn, Humphreys. Sack up.

In the continuation of our “Salute to TRL” week, I’m pleased to share five of my favorite music videos. The thing to keep in mind while perusing this list is that I watched MTV primarily from 1993-1996, so some of these selections are going to be of the fondly-nostalgic-but-bad variety. With that caveat in mind, let’s get to it!

5. All Apologies, Nirvana Unplugged

Not technically a video, but MTV used to play it as one. This concert first aired in 1993, putting it smack at the start of my MTV years. I loved this song — what angsty 7th-grader wouldn’t? — and the low-key atmosphere of the Unplugged concert was a great introduction to music I might have been too scared to listen to otherwise. This is the beginning of years of wearing Doc Martens and flannel shirts. (And here’s Smells Like Teen Spirit for good measure.)

• Dexter fan does a real life copycat murder
• dragged down 30 Rock’s ratings
• The Cleveland Show debuts
• Best 3 days ever?: 1/19 Bush’s last day, 1/20 Barack’s first day, 1/21 3 hours of Lost
• Bill Cosby likes The Huxtable Effect
• People really hate Toyota’s Saved By Zero ads
• NY Mag: The secret of Rachel Maddow’s success
• Any changes to Heroes won’t show up until May
• Musician Jay McCarrol tricked The Daily Beast into think he was Project Runway winner Jay McCarroll
• Networks are looking for more SNL style
• This day in lists: Top 20 TV sounds (FYI – audio plays on page load)