I’m having a little identity crisis here.

We’re a television blog doing a movie giveaway for The X-Files: I Want to Believe. It is based on a TV show, so I guess that’s acceptable.

The movie reunites Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny, who have been busy with art house films and sex addictions respectively, as Mulder and Scully. The film has to do with the abduction of an FBI agent under myserious circumstances. I don’t know — the synopsis is a little vague.  Whatever, it’s all just a platform for Mulder and Scully to finally do it.

Oh, and at some point Amanda Peet and Xzibit (of Pimp My Ride!!!) show up and shoot lasers or something.

We actually have two copies of the movie to give away — one on Blu-Ray and one on DVD. Confession time: I really have no idea what Blu-Ray is, aside from it being another home movie format that I’m afraid of. I tend to be a late adopter in these things because I’m a cheap bastard. I think Blu-Ray is probably a governmental conspiracy.

If you’d like to win one of the movies, send us an e-mail at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com and put “But Mulder, I’m a SCIENTIST!” in the subject line.  Also, specify if you want the DVD or that other MOVIE FORMAT FROM THE FUTURE thingey.

• Bravo’s new web series After The Knife shows what happens in the eliminated contestant house of Top Chef
• Chicago Sun-Times does a nice write up on True Blood’s Nelsan Ellis
• Fox replaces Saturday morning cartoons with infomercials
• Former SNL cast member Horatio Sans has lost a shitlaod of weight
• Here’s an interview with Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock
• Watch the new Battlestar Galactica promo right here
• Hulu is adding shows in HD
• How I Met Your Mother’s naked man was a little creepy
• NY Post about Family Guy Live at Carnegie Hall
• Winner of Smarter Than a Fifth Grader donates winnings, even though it means she’ll file for bankruptcy
• This day in lists: Charlie has once again round up what marathons to expect this Thanksgiving

Hey ABC,

How’s it going? It’s been a while.

Me? I’m doing fine. Working a lot. Yup, still single — so if you know any nice guys, give ‘em my number. Not-nice guys with big arms work too.

But yeah, it’s a rough time to be a network, eh? Not only is all the interesting stuff happening on cable these days, but I think all y’all are still regaining your footing after the strike. After all, this new fall season was a Christmas stocking full of turds.  After the long dry spell of original programming, we were all amped for a slew of hot new creative programming, but there was really nothing new worth getting excited about (Worst Week, anyone?).

So, Alphabet Network (can I call you that?) — late last week you announced that Pushing Daisies was getting canceled. (Was the decision to time the announcement that way based on that old kernel of corporate wisdom that if you fire someone on a Friday there’s less of a likelihood of an “incident?”) You also killed Eli Stone (kind of a relief so I don’t feel obligated to watch the backlog on my DVR) and Dirty Sexy Money (kind of a shame — to be discussed at a later date).

And I know you know this, but I take umbrage — great umbrage — at the demise of this show.

Praising Pushing Daisies at this point seems superfluous, but it’s still pretty important to note its strengths. The incredible set design (I’m not usually one to get carried away with scenery, but when everything is so visually vibrant it’s hard to miss), the imaginative storylines, the tart dialogue and the incredible cast. Kristin Chenowith is so adorable and talented it makes me want to cry. And I’m basically completely in love with Lee Pace, just so y’all know, with his hands-in-pockets slouch and shy smirks.

And what do you have on tap to replace Pushing Daisies? An eighth season of According to Jim? Fresh episodes of Gary Unmarried? While I enjoy a good comfort comedy every now and then (can’t beat some good old fashioned Roseanne reruns), there’s really no excuse to flog the family sitcom format for much longer. It feels dated — very late nineties. Like I should listen to my Sixpence None the Richer album on my way to the latest movie in the Scream franchise. Furthermore, even though Pushing Daisies is gone, but Private Practice remains. So help me God, the fact that Tim Daly is gainfully employed yet Kristin Chenowith is taking her adorable four-foot frame to the Gap to fill out job applications is beyond tragic.

So, yeah, ABC. What’s it going to take?  I know I’m just one person and I have limited means, but I’m sure we can come to arrangements.  Here’s what I’m willing to offer:

• A hand-written coupon for a free backrub
• A macaroni necklace PLUS a tambourine made of beans and two stapled-together paper plates
• Participation in light bondage with whichever members of your upper management would be into that (the safe word is “The Commish”)
• A few dress shirts that I bought that shrunk after I washed them. They don’t fit anymore, but they might fit a pre-teen boy or a nice young lesbian executive.

That’s all I’ve got networks. Can we negotiate?  You can reach us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com and claim all or one of the prizes.

Title	Season
24	Redemption
Beverly Hills, 90210	The 6th Season
Big Easy, The	The Complete 2nd Season
Colbert Report, The	A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All
Doris Day Show, The	The Complete Series
Family Affair	The Complete Series
Freaks and Geeks	The Complete Series: Yearbook Edition
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.	The 5th and Final Season
Mod Squad, The	The 2nd Season, Vol. 1
Pink Panther Show, The	Pink Panther Ultimate Collection
Real Ghostbusters, The	The Complete Series
Red Skelton Show, The	The Ultimate Collection
Spirit of the Sword	The Spirit of the Sword
Super Dave	Super Stunt Spectacular Volume 1
Superman: The Animated Series	Doomsday: 2-Disc Special Edition
Torchy, the Battery Boy	The Complete 1st and 2nd Series
Tudors, The	The Complete 1st Season: Uncut Edition (Canada) (Blu-ray)
	The Complete 2nd Season: Uncut Edition (Canada) (Blu-ray)

• I’d be PISSED if I got on the Oprah’s favorite things that cost “” taping
• Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, and Eli Stone are cancelled
• The Mad Men may go on tour
• New Lost video: Sawyer and Juliet are a couple?
• Rainn Wilson is confusing me, I think he means they’ve filmed 17 episodes of The Office in 13 weeks
• Tila Tequila gets replaced by bisexual identical twins
• Hey! It’s Project Runway 2 finalist Daniel Vosovic’s apartment!
• Boo hoo: Racist from gets treated like shit
• SNL is looking to find a new Obama
• New analysis of the final scene of The Sopranos
• Kathy Griffin signed a 1 year deal with Bravo that includes hosting the A-List awards as well as 2 one hour stand up specials
• This day in lists: 6 ways Pushing Daisies made your inner nerd cry tears of geeky joy

From Turtle on Entourage to Thirteen on House, Buzz rounded up some of her favorite nicknamed TV characters. (BuzzSugar)

A hodge podge of stuff ranging on how to win an autograph DVD of Chuck Season One, to a promo for 25 Days of Christmas, and where to find cheap TV DVD’s for those on your Christmas list you don’t want to spend a lot on but you want them to think you spent a lot on them. (Scooter McGavin’s 9th Green)

Vance loves Bobby Cannavale but isn’t quite sure if he’ll make a good Cupid yet after seeing the preview. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace took an advance look at the Doctor Who: Complete Series Four DVD which came out earlier this week and offered an early look at a potential ABC midseason schedule. (Televisionary)

I’m in ur hospital, sleepin’ with ur interns! Dan continued his trend of ridiculing Grey’s Anatomy with a new batch of LOLGrey’s (TiFaux).

Jennifer returned from maternity leave to chat with Rosie O’Donnell about her new variety show, Nip/Tuck, and The View and received a strike notice from her DVR. (Tube Talk)

This week, the TV Addict revealed why we’re not worried about DOLLHOUSE’s Friday Night timeslot. (The TV Addict)

Kate kinda hated herself for continuing to watch Stylista. But holy crap was this week’s episode compelling! (TV Filter)

Heather had a longish chat with 24: Redemption’s Robert Carlyle and, incredibly, managed to avoid once mentioning Hamish Macbeth! (TV Spy)

If I had kids, I’d want them to watch these shows:

Yo Gabba Gabba

I know I’m late to the Yo Gabba Gabba party, so I wouldn’t talk about it much. I’ll just add my voice to the chorus of people who say it’s less irritating than 90% of the children’s shows out there and has pretty good songs, and it’s more fun than you’d think to watch the costumed characters try to pick up blocks, since some of them clearly don’t have use of their arms. (Sorry, green thing.) If you don’t believe me, check out Elijah Wood’s “dancey dance,” ominously titled “The Puppetmaster.” Like the rest of Elijah Wood, it’s kinda cute and kinda creepy. Just try to watch this video all the way through WITHOUT joining in.

Freaky Frodo – Watch more amazing videos here

Smart Girls at the Party

Amy Poehler, Meredith Walker, and Amy Miles somehow succeed in making a web series that’s meant to boost the self-esteem of pre-teen girls, and does so without being self-righteous or boring. Amy starts the first episode on the right foot: “Hear that? It’s the sound of something awesome.” Basically, they just show girls having fun, doing what they’re passionate about. At first, Amy has kind of a funny James Lipton thing going on, but she doesn’t talk down to the girls she’s featuring on the show. I read somewhere that she wanted to do the series so that young girls wouldn’t all feel pressure to become Pussycat Dolls when they grow up. Once she said that, I kinda wished there was something like this out there for people my age.

In contrast with last week’s Paul Rudd installment, I can’t say my expectations for the Tim McGraw episode of SNL were particularly high. I’ll just put it out there: I’m prejudiced against mainstream country singers. It’s cool; they do fine without me. Even more confusingly, McGraw wasn’t pulling double duty; past host Ludacris was the musical guest. Why the hell couldn’t Ludacris just host again?

• 9 year old boy on set of 30 Rock
• Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer to join the cast of Chuck
• Yes Kim the white girl from Real Housewives of Atlanta is 29!
• More people are cancelling cable since they can watch shows online
• Tim Kring: Heroes viewers
• The Shield prepares to go out with a bang
• Nothing Corporate: The 2008 season sucks
• 30 years ago there was a Star Wars Holiday Special with Bea Arthur
• Now Lifetime is suing to get exclusive rights to Project Runway and promises to start airing next month
• NPR interviews Stephen Colbert out of character
• Because I love you: Puppy livecams!
• This day in lists: TV’s best bromances
• SFW: This is an actual infomercial (enjoy straight men and lesbians!)
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Well, fuck me.

Not only is Pushing Daisies pretty much done for (as Marisa mentioned earlier), but apparently Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money have been axed as well.  And ABC is doing that whole charade where they don’t say it’s been cancelled yet, but hope it’ll fade from memory.

It’s the equivalent of saying the shows are going to live on a farm in the country with all sorts of other shows.  It’ll scamper about in the sunshine with Do Not Disturb and Pirate Master.