I haven’t watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy since Katherine Heigl killed Jeffrey Dean Morgan and then whined about how she missed the guy she MURDERED for an entire fucking year. At the beginning, back in, wow, 2005, when Grey’s Anatomy was a midseason replacement and a surprise hit with a sexy, diverse cast and its own distinct dialect (seriously?!), I liked it a lot.

And then everyone on that show became a complete and utter asshole. Meredith Grey was always a bit of a dishrag, but back at the beginning Christina was awesome, and all the men were hot, and Bailey was just super. Even Katherine Heigl was pretty terrific, when she ripped her shirt off and yelled at everyone for making fun of her for being an underwear model and proclaimed that while they were in $100,000 worth of debt apiece, she paid her way with her spectacular rack. Remember? That was great. But then they all became jerks. And even pretty, pretty Kate Walsh and Eric Dane couldn’t fix it, because let me repeat myself just this once, Izzie KILLED SOMEONE and then moaned about it for a YEAR.

So when show creator Shonda Rimes spun off Private Practice, I jumped ship on whiny, bitchy Grey’s Anatomy and went with Kate and her pretty hair to California. Because at that point Addison, Bailey, and Torres were the only people on Grey’s Anatomy that I didn’t want to set on fire every Thursday night. it had everything I’d originally liked about Grey’s Anatomy with none of the whining: very pretty people who are ostensibly fantastic at their jobs, an excellent soundtrack, ridiculous medical cases that make you go google shit and panic mid-show.

There’s something disheartening about falling in love with a band and then finding out — after the fact — that they were already on Grey’s Anatomy.

Last season.

But I really shouldn’t let that psych me out. After all, a good song is a good song and the fact that Grey’s Anatomy is a ridiculous show doesn’t negate the fact that the people who do the song licensing get it spot-on much of the time (that is, when they’re not spinning their wheels with piano-based teen songstresses).

Frightened Rabbit is a wonderful Scottish band that I’ve grown to love, literally, over the past four hours. Fronted by two brothers named Hutchison, the songs on their second album (The Midnight Organ Fight, released early last year) are lilting break-up anthems. Sample lyrics: “I am armed with the past, and the will, and a brick/ I might not want you back, but I want to kill him.”

The lyrics aren’t shy on four-letter words, but they’re clearly borne of frustration. Plus, it’s hard to get offended when you hear Scott Hutchison’s charming brogue. Maybe it’s just me, but I am completely helpless against a Scottish accent.

Here’s the video for one of the best (if not the very best) songs on the album, Heads Roll Off. It features adorable wee Scottish schoolchildren.

PS – This band sort of reminds me of Counting Crows, which makes me feel uncomfortable.  Like Adam Duritz and his cheeks and his white guy dreads are just masquerading as Scottish folk-rocksters. So now I’ve put that in your head so you can feel uncomfortable too. You’re welcome.

The other night I watched the season premiere of Private Practice because I couldn’t sleep. And as I cursed the fact that I had to get up in six hours, I thought again of how much potential this show wastes (especially since I watched the premiere of Pushing Daisies just before it, and oh, Lord, that show is spectacular).

The cast, for one. I haven’t seen this many great actors in one place with so little do since Vanity Fair‘s noir Oscar portfolio. Audra McDonald, for starters. The lady has FOUR TONY AWARDS. She’s basically the modern incarnation of Broadway, and not only is she saddled with truly ugly costumes because Shondaland’s costume designer is apparently only used to dressing the Meredith Greys of the word, but the whole series is basically a referendum on this overwhelmed, emotionally incompetent single mother whose superhot husband just abandoned her one day, and now she eats cake all the time. I…ow. Merrin Dungey, wherever you are, well done at getting far, far away from the quicksand.

I’m just kind of psychologically preparing for the onslaught of programming that’s about to come my way. Over the summer, while I’ve often struggled to come up with things to blog about, I’ve also enjoyed my time untethered from the television. With no Grey’s Anatomy to catch up on or Eli Stone to play in the background, I’ve been able to live life again (and my liver is not happy with me).

However, the autumnal chill finally hit today and now I realize that next week we’ll all be privy to the endless romantic sagas of Seattle Grace Hospital. From the anxiety of our favorite charisma vacuum Meredith Grey to the newfound lesbionic urges of Drs. Torres and Hahn, we’ve got a lot of melodrama to plod through.

But for this season, I really don’t know if I can dignify Grey’s Anatomy with a well thought-out blog post on a semi-regular basis. I mean, I love that TiFaux can often serve as a bridge between high and low culture — whenever anybody does that, it’s my favorite — but it’s hard to critically examine a soap opera of this nature when you kind of hate all the characters and the plotlines have been spinning and weaving for ages.

How do you seriously address this?

On that note, my coverage of Grey’s Anatomy this season will be exclusively in LOLGreys. Perhaps I’ll be inspired to do a few one-offs based on real opinions I feel the urge to thrust upon the Internet, but I generally think that gramatically incorrect, childlike ruminations superimposed on dramatic photographs will suffice.

Like this:

Back in the day, when TiFaux was just a mere bloglet, we thought about having Gaywatch as regular feature on the blog. However, instead of ghettoizing (<– you like that?) the gayness into a weekly feature we’ve managed to ingrain it in TiFaux’s identity. It’s a part of who we (er… I) are, in addition to the gentle sarcasm and mild cultural elitism. However, there are a few homo-pertininent items that I wanted to bring to your attention.

First up, an outing! If you watch Brothers and Sisters, you may know that the gay brother (who is played by a straight actor) is dating some other gay dude. Well, the other gay dude has just come out. His name is Luke MacFarlane and, well, he’s not a homely fellow.

I wish I had something to say about this other than “Rowr, mother may I?” I guess it’s just kind of funny that I’m sure he has gotten the compliment somewhere of how brave it was to play a gay man.

In other news, Grey’s Anatomy is going to have a plotline about two gay soldiers and there will be a hyped-up kiss between the two characters. The funny thing is that one of the characters will be played by a Road Rules alum named Dave. For the record, he’s kind of dreamy as well in a more boyish way.

Rahr.

Recently (or, more likely, not so recently), pop culture has revealed the concept of the “cougar.” It’s a pretty ugly term, really, if you ask me.

It refers to a woman Of A Certain Age who has a notably voracious sexual appetite for the young mens. Perhaps it has something to do with the rising number of aging leading ladies, or perhaps it has something to do with the rejection of the notion that women can’t age as gracefully as men and retain all the same sexual appetites.

I don’t know — gender studies weren’t/aren’t on my area of expertise. Suffice it to say, a cougar is a lady who is pre-menopausal, post-wild-oats-sewing, empowered and confident. Think Kim Catrall on Sex and the City.

On that note, let’s have a dumb survey. Who’s your favorite TV cougar? (Needless to say, I’m feeling sick and can’t think very straight — you’ll have to let this post slide)

• Jan (The Office) – Not to make this the week of Jan, but she has made her love of her ex-assistant Hunter quite explicit. In a creepy way, to be sure.
• Katherine (Desperate Housewives) – This week, we learned that the character played by Dana Delaney was actually banging Teri Hatchers’ character’s teenage cousin ten years ago. She’s not necessarily the most likable character, but she’s got great hair and no shortage of sass.
• Addison (Private Practice) – I gave up on this show almost simultaneously as it began, but I do know that she had a superficial thing going for the guy who played Piz on Veronica Mars (remember that gross ogling scene on the backdoor pilot for Private Practice? Read that post, it’s much better than this one).
• Samantha (Sex and the City) – The cougar icon.
• One of the dames from Cashmere Mafia/Lipstick Jungle – From what I understand, these shows are chock full of ‘em.