Considering Hannukah is just about over, Jewish TiFaux readers (hi Mom!) may, sadly, be excluded from winning this giveaway in time for the holidays. However, that leaves plenty of opportunity for all you goyish couch potatoes to win this generous prize pack from A&E.

The gang over there has put together a hefty prize package meant to cater to some (very specific) categories on your gift list. The prize package includes the following:

• Gift for “The History Buff” – The World Wars Megaset: The Complete History of WWI and WWII
• The Sci Fi Geek – Farscape (all 4 seasons on DVD)
• The Mystery Fan – The Sherlock Holmes Collection (classic BBC version)
• The Romance Lover – Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, the complete series megaset
• The Music Aficianado – Willie Nelson and Wynton Marsalis Play the Music of Ray Charles

We’re in the middle of a recession, so distributing these valuable gifts will also give off the illusion that you’re prospering in the middle of hardship.

Enter to win by midnight on Monday so we can get these to you in time for big J’s birthday. To enter, e-mail tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Recession Santa.”

Wow. A&E is all about the synergy.  (SYNERGY!  SHAZAM! BUZZ WORD!)

Before, they were giving away copies of The Prisoner on Blu-Ray to cross-promote their new version (by the way, congrats to Celia from Illinois!). Now, they’re promoting their new DVD collection of classic Sherlock Holmes episodes right as the new movie version is coming out. The one with Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law and what appears to be ample homoerotic tension. And explosions.

So we’re giving away the new DVD collection, which has all five episodes from the 1960s series starring Peter Cushing (better known as the guy from Star Wars who yells at Darth Vader to stop space-choking that officer at the beginning of the first movie).

If you’re curious, the stories are The Hound of the Baskervilles, A Study in Scarlet, The Boscombe Valley Mystery, The Sign of Four and The Blue Carbuncle. Here’s a link to order it.

To win, e-mail tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Synergy is bigger than all of us.”

Why write new shows when you can just do the old ones again?  There’s Knight Rider. There’s The Bionic Woman. Money in the bank, my friends.

But perhaps I’m being to quick to judge. Sometimes (dare I say, usually) sci-fi and action movies don’t tend to age well. So perhaps there’s good reason for the new V and the new version of The Prisoner coming to AMC.

Speaking of The Prisoner, we’re helping to celebrate the release of the original series on Blu-Ray by giving away a copy. The Prisoner is a cult British series from the late sixties about secret agents, shadowy figures and a strange town known only as The Village. Learn more about it here.

The new version, in case you were wondering, stars Jim Caviezel plays the starring role of Number Six. You might remember him as Jesus.

To enter, e-mail tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Get Out of Jail Free.”

Here’s the link for pre-order, if you don’t want to take your chances with us.

Carla’s “hoodeehoo.” Stefan’s failed attempts to woo a lesbian. Fabio’s theatrical “spicy meatball” disposition. Remember the shenanigans on Top Chef: New York?

To celebrate the show’s release on DVD, we’re giving away a copy to one lucky reader.The DVD has never-before-seen stew room footage, cooking demonstrations and more.

To win, you need to send us an e-mail to tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Top Chef.” But THAT’S NOT ALL.  Since this might be a hot competition, I want you to send me a recipe that I might like. You don’t have come up with it on your own — just send me a link.

Here’s a list of foods I like:

• Mexican things
• Pumpkin-flavored things
• Seafood (ex. crabs with tons of old bay…  mmmmm….)
• Fancy burgers and pizzas
• Cheesey things
• Carrot cake
• Chocolate and orange mixed together
• Booze

Recipes featuring pork and/or mushrooms will be disqualified (as they are disgusting).

If you’re already convinced you won’t win, you can order the DVD .

Well, what week on TiFaux!  All sorts of activity on our sleepy little blog.  And to cap it off, I’ve got a pretty kickass giveaway.

You see, the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother is coming out on DVD and Blu-Ray on Sept. 29 and my secret lover Laurie from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment has supplied me with a copy to give away.

I wish I had more to say about How I Met Your Mother. Because, to be honest, I consider it a darn good show that I don’t really get around to watching as much as I should.  Add that to the list of things I’m woefully ill-informed on — including international affairs, sports, or cocktail party etiquette (seriously, guys — don’t invite me over for a wine tasting. It never ends well, at least with my friends.).

Oh, I know what I can share about HIMYM! Here’s a hot picture of Neil Patrick Harris which — while it isn’t dirty dirty — you should probably get a lay of the land before looking at it at work.

But I digress. If you’d like to win this DVD, e-mail us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Jeremy Piven’s not nominated this year!”

We have a winner! Many thanks to everyone who entered our TNT-sponsored giveaway of the first season of Leverage, plus a Dark Blue poster signed by the mouthwatering cast. We asked you to tell us what the last thing you stole was, and to our sadness, none of you said “an election,” “the Mona Lisa,” or “.” Bad readers. Try harder next time.

But several of you did send us some appealing tales of theft. Here are a few of my favorites:

“The last thing I stole was a glance at the very cute guy who likes to go running in my neighborhood. mmmm… tasty.” Get it, Faith.

“The last time I stole something I was 7 years old, and was at my 9-year-old cousin’s house coveting her sparkly tiara. I stole it and took it home with me, and when she came over to my house a few months later, I forgot and wore it in front of her. Oops.” Oh, amateur.

And I particularly liked university instructor Eric (if you are a professor, sir, I apologize), who inadvertently swiped a whole stack of lovely books from his department. “The next day, I realized that the books weren’t free—someone was just in the midst of moving offices. I still haven’t figured out how to discreetly return them.” Points for proper use of “discreetly,” Eric.

But our winner is Dhawal Parekh of Maple Grove, Minnesota, who has a produce-loving son and a casual relationship with The Law.

The last thing I stole was a tomato.

Let me explain. I have a two-and-a-half-year-old son. He loves to eat his vegetables, which is bizarre, but I am not complaining. One day while shopping for groceries with him in tow, we came across a heap of nice red beefsteak tomatoes. And he just had to have them right there and then. So I took one when no one was looking and gave it to him and he finished it off completely.

I did not pay for it and my son enjoyed the tomato.

This is how and why I stole the tomato.

We hope your son also enjoys the quips and heists on Leverage, and grows up to be a thoroughly law-abiding, fruit-and-vegetable-eating citizen.

Hello, friends! We have things to give away! The nice folks at TNT are offering a box set of the first season of Leverage, which, as I have told you, is quippy and fun.

TNT is also throwing in a poster of the cast of their new show, Dark Blue. It’s autographed by the cast, which includes pretty, pretty Dermot Mulroney Dylan McDermott and this guy who was Ryan Atwood’s thiefy brother on The OCk and also dates Marisa Tomei.

So if you’d like to win these lovely prizes (and I think it’s worth entering just for the horse heist episode of Leverage. It was AWESOME), send an email to tifaux – at – gmail – dot – com with the subject line “The Free Stuff Job” and describe the last time you stole something—a heart, a lipstick, $90 billion from the government, whatever. Your emails can and will be used against you in a court of law.

I have a special place in my heart for Spongebob Squarepants. Not only did I watch a ridiculous amount of him during my lonely year in Boston after I graduated from college, but my whole family (of which I am the youngest) went to go see the movie on Christmas Day a few years ago.

What do I like about it? Something about the lovable absurdity. The fact that I have a sneaking suspicion that if the guys who made it weren’t making cartoons, they’d probably be working for NASA. The fact that it’s both gentle and surprisingly subversive.

On that note, we’ve got another giveaway — this time for the DVD “SpongeBob SquarePants: To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants.” The DVD includes several episodes of the series including “The Splinter,” “The Slumber Party” and “Grooming Gary.”

If you want it, e-mail tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Bikini Bottom.”

In anticipation of the upcoming seasons of Raising the Bar and The Closer, TNT is hooking us up a fancy dancy prize pack. All of these prizes pertain to show on the network’s Monday night line-up. They include:

• Black bag with Closer chocolates
• Closer t-shirt
• Season 4 Closer DVD set
• Raising the Bar season 1 DVD set
• Raising the Bar T-shirt.

If you recall, The Closer is Kyra Sedgwick’s series where she plays a tough, but Southern-fried cop with a reputation for closing all her homicide cases.  Try a clip of the new season here. Meanwhile, Raising the Bar is the network’s legal drama that features Mark Paul Gosselaar and his new Zack Morris of Nazareth mane. It also stars Gloria Reuben, who I always thought was really pretty when she was on ER a hundred years ago. Here’s a clip:

If you’d like to win, e-mail tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with a subject line that describes my lifestyle: “Closing the bar.”

There are some people who enjoy soft, cushy jobs. They work in accounts receivable, complain about the coffee and silently fume about the odd vocal tics of the person in the cube next to them.

Then there are the the dudes on A&E. Like the Ice Road Truckers who can could crash their vehicles and then die of frostbite. Or the loggers who wield gigantic chainsaws and operate 60-ton machines and could slice all of their co-workers apart with a miscalculation.

Time to stop kvetching about your dental benefits, right?

For this contest, we’re giving away American Originals — which is a box set bursting at the seams with A&E originals. The box set contains the first seasons of Ice Road Truckers, Ax Men, Tougher in Alaska and episodes of the series Dangerous Missions. It’s worth a hundred bucks, suckers. Read more about it here.

If you want to win, e-mail tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “I complain far too much.”