• Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island arrested for pot
• E! Kristin has spoilers for How I Met Your Mother, Friday Night Lights, and more
• Will Arnett sex tape! (possibly NSFW)
• Financing secured for a Wire movie, but David Simon hasn’t signed on yet
• House feels snubbed by Britain
• Hulu.com, the collaboration with NBC and Fox to put shows online, goes live today
• Alicia Silverstone quits HIMYM, would rather be unemployed than work with Britney Spears
• Whole bunch of Buffy stuff on sale at this charity eBay auction

My eyes are burning.

• The guy from Reality Blurred rightfully calls shenanigans on CBS’s claim that they were going to cancel Survivor after last season.
• 97.5 MILLION PEOPLE watched the Superbowl. Jeez o Pete. And almost 33 million watched House afterwards.
• Fox wanted to adjust 24 in light of how much people hate Bush.
• E-Kristin has a spoiler chat and gives us the sad news that Pushing Daisies is done for season one. At least the season one DVD will only be like twenty bucks.
• If the strike ends soon, it’ll take 4-6 weeks to get new episodes out.
• The guy who robbed Lost’s Josh Holloway is going to jail for 30 years.
• The Spelling brood is growing.
• Some guy (over?)analyzes the Matthew Abaddon character on Lost.
• Sarah Michelle Gellar is going to be at the Buffy reunion.

I want one.  And not just because Jake Gyllenhaal has one.

• Julie Benz (Rita on Dexter) tries to rally support for Dexter’s turn on CBS as well as her role in Rambo.
• ABC is being fined for boobage on NYPD Blue. Back in 2003.
• The writers for Mad Men and Weeds are getting back to work.
• The writers strike is doing more damage — this time bringing Dan Cortese back from obscurity.
• Jorge Garcia (Hurley from Lost) talks about the new season.
• Battlestar’s third season is now being released March 18.
• New York magazine talks about shows from the 80s they’d like to see resurrected.
• TNT has .
• ABC has slashed its number of pilot scripts.
• On Wednesday, ABC will air the Lost third season finale all Pop-up Video-like.
• Moment of Truth is doing lamentably well.
• Lifetime has a reality show about dancers and (surprise) mothers.
• Spike from Buffy .
• Jeff Probst tells all about the new Survivor cast.
• Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey and the cast of The Office won SAG awards.

I still haven’t seen No Country For Old Men and that is inexcusable.

• In a very small bit of  bright strike news, NBC won’t be canceling or reducing .
• The Colbert Report and Daily Show writers are having a .
• Steven Bochco has a new legal drama with Zack Morris.
• There’s going to be a live Buffy reunion.
• USA Today celebrates the return of Lost. E-Kristin has video previews!
• Slate thinks out the ethically questionable new crop of game shows.
• They’ve announced a cast for the third and, allegedly, final season of Flavor of Love.
• Over at E!, vote for who you want to win the SAG Awards.
• And in case you haven’t seen it — via Best Week Ever — here’s Homosexuwhales.[kml_flashembed /grsgucYpMyU" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

If you’re going to see it, wait til it’s on video. I was dangerously close to vomiting the entire time.

• Looks like Yul from Survivor is all over the place. This time, unsuccessfully trying to open a yogurt shop.
• The WGA
• In other strike news, the writers have dropped their demands to .
• No upfronts .
• Ask Ausiello has scoop on Lost and Veronica Mars (!).
• Sarah Michelle Gellard nixes a Buffy movie.
• They are looking for activists for the next Real World.
• The Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet 3 debuts tonight, despite God’s will.
• Here’s a video update from The Office picketers.
• Oxygen has renewed Tori Spelling’s Inn Love.

I’m typing this without moving my mouth.

• Charisma Carpenter will be on the celebrity version of The Apprentice.
• Even though certain commenter trolls think otherwise, HGTV has deemed there is nothing wrong with Kim competing on Design Star.
• The set of the British version of The Office will be demolished.
• A Hawaii orchestra will perform the music of Lost.
• There will be a little surprise in your next TV Guide, thanks to Grey’s Anatomy.
• Lucy Lawless talks about Burn Notice.
• TV Guide gives a summer TV breakdown.
• It’s official: Jon Stewart will host the Oscars.
• Some people love the Weeds theme. Some people hate it.
• Gordon Ramsay lied about his balls.
• Ja Rule can suck it.
• The Closer is, again, .
• Kohls is .

Remember Friendster? Me neither. (ps — )

• Who knew that Tim Gunn was such a magnet for controversy? Also, he talks about his life and makes me sad.
• Earl from Survivor (who I loved) bought his mom a house in Fiji. And drops the C-bomb way more often than I am comfortable with.
• Milo goes soft-core for Men’s Health.
• Will Maya Rudolph re-sign with SNL?
• Marlo Thomas will be on Ugly Betty; Coach will be on My Name is Earl.
• So Jerry Lewis… yeah… At least he apologized.
  
• The next person on The View will be named “very soon.” Also, Whoopi says some crazy shit that I get, but don’t really agree with.
• Sara Gilbert will .
• The Wire calls it a day.
• The guy who won the first Apprentice married the chick from E!
• Andy Keaton .
• The finale of Battlestar might not come until 2009.
• Buffy spin-off, anyone?
• A bomb blows up by Michael Imperioli’s studio.

They have some lovely sweaters.

• First and foremost, Kristen Bell interview! She talks Veronica Mars movie, she talks Lost and she talks about her 13-episode (!) stint on Heroes.
• Survivor gets its second gay mormon.
• Here’s a fun little guessing game (you know how much I love those): Janeane Garofalo will be a series regular on which of the following shows — 24, Dirt or Desperate Housewives. Give up? Get the answer here.
• Kevin Federline has sleazed into a role on One Tree Hill.
• Seasons of Buffy, Angel and Dark Angel are available from Best Buy for $16 a pop. Offer’s good til the 25th.
• The ER producers are trying to lure in old favorites who, seemingly, don’t have anything better to do.
• Ryan Seacrest is going to host the Emmys. Meh.
• An article about The Daily Show’s Rob Riggle and his trip to Iraq.
• Dexter’s promotional poster is even more messed up than you might guess.
• After Elton talks to the weird dude from Flipping Out.

Just add rollerskates and a tank top.

• Kathy Griffin comments on her love affair with the gays.
• Dale from Top Chef talks to the Chicago Tribune.
• from her sickbed.
• Rob (of Amber and Rob) is hosting some reality show where the prize is $10 million.
• The next season of Survivor might be an all-star season.
• Motley Crue is blaming Rock Star for its financial problems. And not the fact Dr. Feelgood was twenty years ago.
• It seems like a lot of people are watching The Closer.
• Dr. Seuss’ thugs are making Christina Applegate .
• Katherine Hiegl has her own line of scrubs.
• Alias’ David Anders will, in fact, be on Heroes.
• Ask Ausiello has news on House and James Marsters.
• Oy. That Anna Nicole judge got his own show.

A welcome change from coffee.

• from Amazon. It’s got seasons one through seven plus bonus material.  [update: sold out.  Boo!  Hiss!]
• Pirate Master — the pirate reality show — debuts May 31. Read this: “The wannabe brigands dress in period costumes, eat such yummy authentic food as gruel — the officers get better rations — and are ruled over by an elected captain who assigns roles to the crew members and can be overthrown if he doesn’t treat his crew well. Mutiny, anyone? Each week at ‘Pirate’s Court’ — which are, according to Burnett, modeled after actual tribunals — a player is cast off the ship and set adrift on a raft. ‘If you can’t run with the crew, if you can’t swim or row or navigate, you’re a liability.’”
• Bookie odds on the next death on The Sopranos.
• .
• . And next, David Lynch does the new Mentos spots?
• of Tim Gunn’s book online.
• The next Survivor will be filmed in China.
• Nothing official yet, but I’m just saying, prepare yourself for Veronica Mars to be cancelled. But at least .
• An AV Club interview with Battlestar’s Ron Moore.
• If you can’t wait to watch Painkiller Jane, to watch the pilot.
• A new Ask Ausiello is up. Spoilers about death on Lost and the future of Veronica and Logan.
• This Washington Post article about pre-empting primetime for news coverage rubs me the wrong way.