Really random stuff: Miss World 2008

Posted by sara December 14th, 2008 at 06:56pm In General Great Feats of Strength Guilty Pleasures

As part of my Sunday ritual that involves lying on the couch and swearing off devil alcohol, I am watching the 2008 Miss World Pageant, which happened yesterday in Johannesburg. And it is completely effing bananas, y’all.

Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert on beauty pageants. But I’ve seen a few of them, and I really like Miss Congeniality (but not enough to watch the sequel). But even in my limited experience this pageant seems CRAZY. Not only does it have a talent competition (which Miss Barbados won by singing a Barbra Streisand tune hilariously off-key), it also has a “sportswoman” competition, which was basically Field Day for pretty girls. They had to BUILD BOATS and then ROW THEM ACROSS A POND. I had to recline lazily and laugh until my ribs hurt. The two hosts have been making the most uncomfortable patter throughout; they are famous Chinese TV presenter Angela Chow and famous South African fellow Tumisho Masha, and they appear to be speaking entirely different languages. Watch, about four minutes in, as he makes a very local joke about signing Miss Iceland to a Johannesburg football club:

Look! Miss Paraguay has a pot on her head! A pot!

The pageant also included something called the Beauty With a Purpose segment. Apparently it involves the contestants supporting children’s charities, which is all very nice, but let’s not forget that the true purpose of beauty pageants scholarship competitions is the incredibly insane prom-dresses-on-steroids, janky weaves, and piles of eyeliner. I am not exaggerating even a little.

I find it so strange that Miss Sweden is wearing sleeves (she knew it was going to be summer in Johannesburg, right?) but some of the contestants from more conservative countries are rocking the-world-is-my-gynecologist looks. Learn something new everyday, I guess, and that lesson is that tacky knows no country.