Dwight introduces us to the centatholon.

In the category of barely relevant reality shows, there’s CMT’s Gone Country. It’s a competition show where the usual hangers-on (and some extreme left fielders) go through the motions of becoming country stars. It’s like Making the Band, but without even the thin veil of hope for legitimate success.

The cast was recently announced for season two. Guess who is on the show…

The hair metal singer: Vince Neil, Sebastian Bach, Bret Michaels

What?: The woman who sang the theme to Fame, the guy whose hand was Thing in the Addams Family movies, Matthew Lesko (the question mark guy)

The boy band member: Brian Littrell, Chris Kirkpatrick, Kevin Richardson

The American Idol castoff: Kimberley Caldwell, Jon Peter Lewis, Mikalah Gordon

The Jackson: Latoya, Jermaine, Tito

The muscle man: Fabio, Lorenzo Lamas, Jean-Claude Van Damme

The nutcase: Gary Busey, Sean Young, Tara Reid

Answers after the jump…

Both MTV and God work in mysterious ways.

After several seasons of glorifying the cartoonish entitlement of wealthy teenagers on “My Super Sweet 16,” MTV has decided to give the girls some sort of global context for their diamond-encrusted adolescences. The show Exiled takes some of the kids who had their lavish sweet 16 parties and sends them to third world countries. Not only are there no Hummers full of rap video background dancers bearing gilded pomeranians, but this girl has to live in a house made of shit.

See below (or click here if the embedded clip is being ass-y):

It’s not clear whether the network is motivated by their desire to address the disgusting consumerist monsters they’ve been celebrating or whether they just want to make franchises out of these kids. However, the press release makes it seems like we’re supposed to enjoy watching them suffer. So that might be rewarding.

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