After winning the Barbie challenge in season two, Nick became “Uncle Nick” — giving widespread attention to the time-worn phenomenon of the doting gay uncle.

Now, in more progressive times, we can embrace gay uncles in all their glory. In yesteryear, young nieces and nephews may have wondered why Uncle Steve always brought his ‘roommate’ Bruce to family gatherings. These days, gay uncles can be just that — fun fusions of older brother, best friend and alternate-universe-dad.

So, in the world of Project Runway, I was wondering who would be the better gay uncle — Nick or Tim Gunn.

They’re both lovable and cute, so it’s hard to decide. I think, in general, Uncle Nick would be better when you’re a little kid and Uncle Tim would be better when you’re grown up. For instance, on your fifth birthday Nick will get you all the candy you can eat and all the Barbies your arms can carry. Tim might get you a savings bond.

At the time, the winner is obvious, but when you reach your twenties you’d much rather be able to spend that money on alcohol or your electric bill.

That said, let’s break it down.

Uncle Nick

Benefits:

• More likely to buy you beer when you’re nineteen.
• If you’re a girl (or, hell, if you’re a boy), he’d be way more fun to play dress-up with.
• You can bring him to your office Christmas party as your date and it wouldn’t be that weird.

Drawbacks:

• Will spoil you.
• Blurs the line between friend and paternal figure.
• Loves attention just as much as you do.

Uncle Tim

Benefits:

• Better equipped to help dress you for your first job interview.
• Constant source of reasonable advice.
• Will let you crash at his luxurious loft (or the luxurious loft that I imagine he has).

Drawbacks:

• Won’t let you put your feet up on the couch at his house.
• Might correct your pronunciation.
• Would drag you kicking and screaming to the art gallery at the age of 10 in order to expose you to culture (although you’d thank him for it later).

Last night Maggie and I (and friend-of-the-faux Katie) had tickets to one of the hottest shows in town: the live reading of an episode of 30 Rock at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. We got there 80 minutes early and still barely got seats. I think the majority of the audience was standing or sitting in the aisles. The place was completely packed. I didn’t catch a lot of familiar faces in the audience. Brian Stack of Conan fame sat in front of us, and I saw Amy Poehler talking to him after the show. Other than that, the big names were all on stage.

I expected an old show (we were hoping for “Tracy Does Conan” with a cameo from Conan) but they actually did a staged reading of a show that airs in 3 weeks. Tina specifically requested that we avoid posting plot details on our blogs because the show is “kind of like Heroes and [they] like to keep it a secret.” But I will tell you a few things.

The entire main cast was there, with the exception of Special Guest Stars Edie Falco and James Carville. Falco’s part was played by Paul Pell, who recently played Pete’s wife on 30 Rock, but is perhaps best known as a frequent fake audience member on SNL. James Carville was played by a guy who looked a little like James Carville and wore a shirt that said “James Carville” on the front and the back. Signed copies of that shirt, and the Shinehardt Wig Company “NOT polluting rivers since 1997″ shirt were raffled off during commercial breaks. Some of the supporting cast also couldn’t make it, including Maulik Pancholy (Jack’s assistant Jonathan). His one line was read by one of the writers. Grizz and Dot Com didn’t have any lines in the episode.

Commercials were somewhat successfully improvised by Jack McBrayer (Kenneth) and John Lutz (Lutz). The best involved the two of them pretending to play basketball, with Jack McBrayer on defense waving his hands around hilariously. When Tina saw Jack McBrayer in his NBC Page costume she couldn’t help laughing. She said her one wish is that the show lasts just long enough that he has to wear the costume for the rest of his life like Bob Denver (fun fact, Gilligan’s Island was only on for 3 seasons).

The episode itself was typical 30 Rock, full of shenanigans and great cutaways, which was a little tricky to pull off on stage, but the thrill of seeing everyone in person made up for any performance problems. There was a lot of time spent waiting for the audience to stop laughing. Alec Baldwin and Paula Pell had a great time pretending to have sex in various positions. Tina warned us before the show started that he might try to rape her. I laughed as soon as Tracy Morgan started talking. He has such a naturally funny and forceful voice it was just hilarious to hear him say anything at all. Liz Lemon calling Kenneth a “fucking hillbilly” during a game of Celebrity (Maggie’s favorite game) is something you won’t be hearing on NBC.

The whole thing lasted about 45 minutes, which is about half as long as we waited in line, but it was totally worth it. Much better than my experience playing “Audience Member #224″ in the pilot episode.

So, we’ve been through this before. They announced a cast list for the celebrity edition of The Apprentice and we got to play the guess-the-real-contestant game. Unfortunately, it was a bunk list.

However, now the cast has been listed by reputable sources. Shall we play again?

Remember, one of the following groupings is the real contestant on The Celebrity Apprentice.

The gymnast: Nadia Comaneci, Mary Lou Retton, Carly Patterson.

The playmate (I don’t expect anyone to know this person, so, to make it easier, the two decoys don’t actually exist): Laura McDonald, Stacey Ammon, Tiffany Fallon.

The talent show judge: Randy Jackson, Piers Morgan, Dave Navarro.

The rocker: Gene Simmons, Alice Cooper, Ted Nugent.

The chatty lady: Marilu Henner, Leeza Gibbons, Ricki Lake.

The fighter (pick two): Sugar Ray Leonard, Lennox Lewis, Tito Ortiz, Oscar De La Hoya, Tommy Speer.

The country musician: Garth Brooks, Trace Adkins, Reba McIntire.

The pretty lady: Bo Derrick, Cindy Crawford, Carol Alt.

The Soprano: Jamie Lynn Sigler, Vincent Pastore, Robert Iler.

The softball star (again, two of these names are just made up): Olivia David, Jennie Finch, Mandy Hammond.
The Spanish talk show host: Lili Estefan, Nancy Alvarez, Nely Galan.

The crazy born-again: Kirk Cameron, Candice Cameron, Stephen Baldwin.
Omarosa: No guesses here. Omarosa’s going to be on it.

Follow the jump for the answers…

Sonar would be cool. Sleeping upside-down, not so much.

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