I've made some noise about this before, but I really feel the need to drive it home — the Niki/Jessica plotline on Heroes should really just quietly disappear.

Here's my first problem with the situation, which I think is the problem most people have with it — Niki doesn't really have a superpower as much as she just has a psychological disorder.  Multiple personalities disorder might be exotic, but it's hardly tantamount to bending time and space.  Maybe they should feature me on the show for my amazing ability be compulsively 15 minutes early to everything or to have small panic attacks after the time change in the fall.

Of course her other personality is kind of superhero-y, what with the kung-fu fighting and the limb-tearing, but when you compare it to the gift of flight, it's kind of disappointing.

The other big reason for getting rid of Niki is that the storyline is just nowhere near as interesting as the Petrelli brother hijinx, Claire's web of deception or Hiro's adorable little quests.  Coupled with her perplexingly bland sorta-husband and her wiseguy son, the whole plotline just sinks.  (By the way, I really don't like that kid.  He's always wearing this expression of smug disappointment.  As far as precocious/wise beyond his years kids go, he's not as off-putting as certain other NBC child actors, but I'm still not digging him.)

Niki's crappiness is no fault of Ali Larter, who does what she can with the role.  It's always fun to watch the panic-stricken Niki transform into uber-confident/aloof Jessica.  Her face sinks and her tone drops into Jessica Rabbit territory.

Maybe she'll get more interesting when/if she gets involved with other heroes.  Aside from knockin' boots with Nathan Petrelli, she hasn't really mingled with the rest of the crew.

Wednesday’s a bit of a dead zone until Lost comes back next week.

This is us without Lost.

Again, there’s the bad singing, and the people laughing at the bad singers. I don’t know if you can tell, but I don’t watch.

Apparently Friday Night Lights is really good. There’s a new episode tonight. This sounds like a future summer project for me.

I don’t watch Top Chef, but I support those who do. Have a fun finale. And check out Top Design for me, while you’re at it — it premieres tonight, if you’ve managed to avoid their relentless advertising.

I can’t really tell if Mythbusters is new, but it sounds new to me — whirlpool myths. Sure to be fun as always. And educational.

I'm such a pansy.

• If this rumor is true, I'm so relapsing into my old American Idol-watching ways.  US Weekly says that Courtney Love might not only guest on American Idol, but she might… wait for it, wait for it… replace Paula Abdul!  I'm guessing this is all highly unlikely, but dear LORD I love me some Courtney.
• Lucy Liu and Jerry O'Connell will join Kathy Griffin and Tim Gunn as guest stars on Ugly Betty.  
• Apparently, the Grammys are on in mid-February.  Because effing John Mayer needs some more paper weights.  This year .
• Camp Reality — the brainchild of some dude who lost Survivor several seasons ago — will air tonight.  It's the usual reality people doing what they do best: getting drunk and doing obstacle courses.
• Armed and Famous is moving to VH1 — a better fit. 
• A British news anchor named his kid after Jack Bauer .  True story. 
• This page has all sorts of downloadable music from Grey's Anatomy.
• The doc on Survivor is a big cokehead.  Weeee!

Oh, how wrong I was in my glib prediction about last night's House.

Instead of solving a mystery disease, House spent the hour counseling a rape victim. If this doesn't sound like something the cranky, emotion-averse House would do, that's because this was a definite departure for the show. I can't say I enjoyed it completely, but I admire them for trying something new and ambitious. 

If you've ever taken a creative writing class in college, especially a playwriting class, you'll know there are a couple topics that frequently come up with almost unvaryingly disastrous results. They are: rape, incest, suicide, and eating disorders. (What's even more fun is when you have to read them aloud in workshops. Or see them on stage. Or act in them on stage.) People want to write about these things because they are inherently dramatic, and they think that because they're disturbing most of the work of writing the piece will be done for them.

I'm not saying there's no way to write about these things successfully, because it does happen. It just takes work. If you're going to fictionalize such serious, real issues, you have to be careful, because people can spot fakeitude a mile away. House has dealt with incest and eating disorders decently in the past, so I guess we shouldn't be surprised that they eventually came around to rape. And no one can accuse them of not taking it seriously.

This may be a strange complaint to level at House, which is a show where people spout the most convoluted witticisms at the drop of a hat, but people just don't talk like they did in last night's episode. But that's all right; they're doing their highly stylized verbal universe, and even if it bugs it's at least interesting. Which is why I forgive and maybe even respect the show for its sometimes odd college playwriting project feel. No one else bothers to have their characters discuss the big stuff. Is that enough to overlook uncomfortable, stilted writing? Probably not, but Hugh Laurie pulls it off.

Two-time Golden Globe(TM)-winner Hugh Laurie. And don't you forget it.

Guys, that was a scary, TiFaux-less morning. You know, if y'all stop reading and using up the bandwidth, we wouldn't have these problems. Shame on you!

But to the point: What's on? 

So apparently that show about those people who sing and get mocked is on tonight. Whatever.

Veronica Mars! Eeee! Will Logan and Veronica survive the episode? Frankly, I'm getting Logan/Veronica relationship fatigue. Let's focus on the fact that TV Guide says Madison Sinclair is back. Maybe she's pregnant! And she doesn't know if the baby is Dick's or Lamb's! Whatever it is, I'm clearly psyched.

Yet another week passes in Stars Hollow and Christopher Hayden doesn't die. Lane's fake stomach makes a deal to star in its own spin-off show. 

Someone's sick and no one knows why. Will Golden Globe (TM) -winner Hugh Laurie, as the imperious Dr. House, solve the medical mystery? Yes, he will.

Sorry for the outage this morning. We’ve recently seen our traffic double and we’ve had to upgrade our hosting package twice in the past few months because you people visit our site so damn much. I thought we would make it to the end of January, but it didn’t work out.

On a related subject, free shipping on TiFaux shirts ends tomorrow. The coupon code is FREESHIPPING07. We also have lovely context-based sponsors on the sidebar who have very interesting products and services.

Jack Bauer and his brother (BROTHER!) hash out some issues.

Peter Petrelli sneaks into the girl's locker room and robs banks with his new buddy. Because his new buddy's invisible. Get it?

Things happen on Studio 60. Things. Just some things. … oh, all right. Danny Tripp is huge stalker and needs to be stopped. The only thing I liked last week — Tom asking out Lucy — will no doubt be ruined because of this whole coincidental Women United In Faith/the Macau daughter loves Tom/Matt is in a bidding war over Harriet nonsense. I will have eight aneurysms, feel guilty about it, and then have another fit over feeling guilty.

Chris becomes a hall monitor on Everybody Hates Chris. Seriously, why aren't you watching Everybody Hates Chris? It's not a must-see day-of show, but it's solid week to week. I can't tell you how many times "that's $0.23 worth of buttermilk!" or "I don't need this, my husband has two jobs" comes up in regular life. 

(If this becomes a regular feature, I will try harder to post it before five.) 

While having a dog could be fun, it would suck having to sacrifice my social life. 

• By George…  Rumor has it that T.R. Knight is making noise about leaving Grey's Anatomy.  Apparently he doesn't like being called nasty names and not having anything done about it.  However, the network says it's all balderdash.  Malarkey.  Jabberwocky.  Twaddle.
• The SAG awards were last night.  The TV awards you'd care about went to Alec Baldwin, America Ferrera, Chandra Wilson, Hugh Laurie and the casts of The Office and Grey's Anatomy.
• Armed and Famous (the one where LaToya Jackson's a cop) has been promptly shelved. 
• Ivanka Trump could have been The Bachelorette. America's loss.
• If you're so inclined, you can watch the unaired episodes of Daybreak on ABC.com.  Don't everybody go at once.
• Here's a list of all the pranks that have been played on The Office.  There's something for you to do.
• Someone's gonna die on Heroes.  Let's all cross our fingers and hope it's Nikki/Jessica. 
• Ed Helms is a sweetie pie. 

Loyal readers may realize that we here at TiFaux are nearing our one-year anniversary. That’s right — back in early February of 2006, we got on this crazy rollercoaster, and the time has really flown by. Things were different way back then. Arrested Development was still on the air. Meg was in a coma. I hadn’t watched a single episode of Battlestar Galactica or Lost or The Wire or Deadwood or every episode of Buffy in a row. Times really have changed.

Those were the days.

As part of a continuing series of “What does it all mean” self-reflective bullshit-filled posts I hope to write in the next week, I’ve been thinking about the year ahead, and I’ve come up with some goals. Feel free to add to these in the comments.

• I will find the courage and conviction to stop watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The minor joys (Tom asks out Lucy, Jack is a rock star) do not in any way make up for the horrible anxiety and frustration I go through every time I sit down to an episode. It’s not worth it, for my health and sanity. Likelihood this will happen: 10%
• A while ago we put up google ads. Google doesn’t pay you until you make $100. I hope to reach that benchmark in 2007. Then I will buy you all a beer. Likelihood this will happen: 85%
• I will stop talking about High School Musical so much. Likelihood this will happen: 2% (one word: sequel)
• We’ll introduce some regular features, like Week in Review or Gold Star for Excellence. Both of those mean something in my head. Stayed tuned for updates. Likelihood this will happen: 72%
• Gilmore Girls will stop being so horrible, the islanders will find home and an explanation on Lost, the humans and cylons will declare peace, Heroes will end an episode without saying “To be continued…”, and Jim and Pam will get married and have a million babies. Likelihood this will happen: 0%

Just because we weren't anywhere near right last time around doesn't mean we should give up guessing now. The poll for Who Killed Dean O'Dell is still predicting Lucky Tim did it. I wouldn't put it past Lucky Tim, because he's sneaky, that one. But really it could be anyone, if they based their perfect murder on Veronica's paper, because it was oh-so-helpfully posted online last semester.

This is an enormous picture of Piz, right before he gets his poor little heart crushed. I'm quite fond of Piz. For one thing, he has helped me identify a whole huge set of the population who have "Piz hair." I no longer have to learn these peoples' names; they are just "Piz." It may sound derogatory, but it's actually… only a little bit derogatory.

Of course Logan is a fascinating, complicated character who's great to have around, but it seems like he's stalling. What exactly has he got going on, other than brooding moonily? Wouldn't it be fun for him to have a little competition? Personally I'd like to see Veronica with someone without a lot of trust/anger/bimbo issues. I think she'd freak out. It would be very entertaining.

It's such a funny, sharp show. She may not be saving the world, but she's doing things that matter to her. I'm already starting to console myself with DVDs and long sighs of appreciation, preemptively mourning not having this show around much longer. Not that it's official it's ending any time soon, but don't you kind of get a feeling of early nostalgia?