Recap:
Cristin writes:
Wes and Johanna continue to rain hatred on one another as they look towards exile. The crazy kids decide that a costume party is just what they need to heat things up, and tonya throws on some red underwear, smears her makeup, and comes as… paris hilton? anna nicole? herself? We never find out. Wes and JoJo settle their issues while nestled in bunkbeds. Nothing says Responsible Adult Relationship like summer camp fixtures.
The Rollin In Oates challenge involves the competitors transferring sticky oats using only their bodys, and treats viewers to the sight of cuddly Eric in a speedo, who comments on how his balls are stifled by the swimsuit. "I'm all taters," he declares, and I promptly fall in love with him. Continuing in the theme of Using Inappropriate Body Parts To Attract Attention and Glory, Coral uses her massive boobs of hatred to move the oats (how I wish that was a metaphor), and Coral/ Evan take home yet another challenge.
Wes/Casey face Johanna/ Jesse in exile and, hey, has anyone else noticed that Jesse looks a lot like Mark Paul Gosselar? Well, if you didn't, you never will, cause they lose due to basic stupidity after forgetting to retrieve their team flags. Wes berates Casey through the entire mission, and during their tearful departure, Johanna tells Wes that he needs to be more respectful of his partner.
Cristin's two cents:
At this point, the person I most want to slap is Casey. Here's what Casey should do: wait until they get put into exile again, and the first time Wes screams at her that she's "useless" or declares her a "stupid bitch" on national television, she should sit down and refuse to move until he's spent a good ten minutes groveling. He cannot win without her, and he doesn't deserve to keep playing if he's going to be a ruthless, unmitigated dickhead. She has all of the power and doesn't even realize because, ironically, as Wes points out, she's a complete moron. Wes still deserves to get herpes for what he says to her, though. And now I've officially crossed the line and am Taking This Too Seriously.
Dan's two cents:
I've never really thought much about Johanna. That is, thought about her at all. She's the Sporty Spice, the thanks-for-coming-but-who-really-cares. But I actually grew a little bit of respect for her when she put Wes in his place after the exile. Her whole "would you want someone talking to your mom like that" speech was very effective and, if you saw him in the background during some closing shots, he was actually eating shit.
In other news, could someone hire me to be a professional mess like Tonya? And Cristin, is the discussion of one's "taters" all a man has to do to win your affections? I never pictured you as having a weakness for Southern-fried euphemisms.
The Scoreboard:
Teams:
Cristin's Blue Iguanas: Katie/Eric; Johanna/Jesse; Tonya/Johnnie; Theo/Chanda; Shane/Linette
Dan's Green Monkeys: Coral/Evan; Melinda/Ryan; Tina/Kenny; Darrell/Aviv; Derrick/Diem
Competition:
4 points awarded for each competition won, four points deducted for an elimination.
Cristin's tally: -4 (Johanna/Jesse elimination)
Dan's tally: 4 (Coral/Evan victory)
Drama-rama (3 points per infraction):
Includes: crying; lovers quarrels; racial/ethnic/other slurs; physical violence; extreme displays of drunkeness (includes falling down, excessive slurring, vomiting); same sex encounters onscreen (worth four points because Dan says so); shown or implied hook-ups (includes make-outs and all forms of bedroom activity).
Cristin's tally: 4 (Coral/Tonya lip-lock) 3 (Johanna – lovers' quarrel) 3 (Tonya – drunken behavior)
Dan's tally: 4 (Coral/Tonya lip-lock)
Loose talk (2 points per phrase):
Includes: "step it up," "balls to the wall," "not a team player," "pull together as a team," "deserves to be here," any reference to effort exerted in excess of 100%
Cristin's tally: 0
Dan's tally: 0
Cristin's old total: 18
Dan's old total: 18
Cristin's old total: 24
Dan's new total: 26
