The Internet is SO not TV

Posted by Kyle June 18th, 2006 at 06:39pm In Internets TV

A little over a week ago, in honor of television's summer vacation, I promised to scour YouTube for videos that are better than the useless crap your co-workers email you. I started my search with a few simple rules:

1. Some care must be shown in the lighting and composition of the video. This is easy to spot from the screenshots and disqualifies 99% of the videos on YouTube.
2. No single-person-talking-to-the-camera stuff. This overlaps with #1 a lot and is clearly the most popular genre on YouTube. Even Zach Fucking Braff is doing it.
   
3. The credit sequence cannot take up more than 1/3 of the running time. This is a common problem among amateur filmmakers. They love that "presented by in association with stuff" and fancy animated logos.
4. It can't be pirated TV or movies.
5. Gotta be in English. The reason for this is not just my preference for the language I speak, nor is it my current exile in a foreign country, it's mainly so I can avoid posting something that turns out to be a pirated copy of last week's number one film in Japan. My filters aren't as good when it's not English and I could be tricked.
6. If I don't like the first 30 seconds I'm going on to the next thing. Sorry kids, I'm working with a limited amount of time and a seemingly infinite number of videos.

So far the only one I've found is this:

Which is really not fair because I'd already seen it.

I haven't given up though. I think I'm just searching for the wrong things. I haven't cracked the "tagging" code yet. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a question I'd like to .