Seriously, nobody knows! The greatest scientific minds in the world can’t come to a consensus on this. You’d like it would be because it’s made of water, but you would be so wrong. Also, there’s like a dozen different kinds of ice. Bet you didn’t know that, huh?

So lots of people have already said lots of stuff about the ladies’ ice skating last night. Personally I feel a little robbed, as a spectator, as after about 30 seconds of the winner’s routine I fast-forwarded because she was boring and it was really, really late. I am not a fan of these new rules of judging. It’s extremely trying to watch the same jumps and spirals over and over again, just because those are the ones that will earn you the most points. Where’s the weird, fun choreography? Even Sasha Cohen’s choreography, which was clearly the best, was pretty generic.

It was somewhat satisfying, however, to be able to have announcer-lady really break it down for us and explain why even though Sasha Cohen fell twice she still beat Irina Slutskaya (fall count: one). It’s because she scored better on spins and artistry, by the way.

Have you ever read the lyrics to a song and wondered how you didn’t realize how stupid they were before? 

Well, take a look at the transcript for the “Project Runway” reunion show where Guadalupe proves that she’s twice the crackhead we ever thought she was.  For some reason it sounds even crazier in print.

Tim Gunn: We had a question from Bravotv.com. Aryan writes: “Guadalupe…”

Guadalupe: Yay! Aryan!

Tim Gunn: Did you feel that your elimination was fair, even though Marla had plaguerized a dress Nicky Hilton had worn before?

Guadalupe: Honestly, I can only give him a personal critique. Nobody would ever know, unless they personally responded to me, would know what my personal response is. And that is of me. And personally, I believe you can’t, like, push the boundaries, and like Johnny Cash, walk the line, and–

Heidi Klum: This is so confusing. What was the question?

Tim Gunn: I haven’t a clue any longer! Did you feel your elimination was fair, given that Marla plaguerized the Nicky Hilton dress? Yes or No?

Guadalupe: Understand that Marla has an aesthetic that I cannot duplicate. But Marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate. And Aryan, on national television, if you can get this, you fucking rock because you believe in what is true. Period.

Tim Gunn: This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I think I’ve heard in weeks.

Guadalupe: I agree as well.