Hot tattoos are the new good personality

Posted by Dan May 7th, 2008 at 12:50pm In Project Runway Top Chef

Before I am done with TiFaux, I won’t be happy until I’ve turned it into a vaguely indie version of Bop or Tiger Beat.

That is to say, I want to keep one of our steady focuses on boys and why they are so dreamy. Forget quality writing, forget interesting performances — I’m a man who knows what he likes. While I may put up this exterior of a savvy, sophisticated bon vivant (and don’t even front — I know I do), I’m really just a schoolboy scrawling Mrs. Daniel Gyllenhaal into the margins of my notebooks and dotting the i’s with hearts.

On that note, I’ve made no secret of my love of the tattoos. There are few things hotter than a well done sleeve of ink (other than, perhaps, holding some sort of ethnic baby. And, even then, that’s more cute than hot).

So I’ve rounded up a list of some of reality TV’s hottest tattooed folks. I’ve even thrown in some ladies to satisfy our minority of heterosexual male readers (and, hopefully, growing readership of lesbians). Not that we don’t love all our readers just the same.

At the end, you get to vote for your favorite. Hooray!

Trainer Bob

Show: The Biggest Loser

Oh, Bob. Such a contradiction. On one hand, you’re the Southern drawling, caring nurturer. You contrast sharply with Jillian’s unsmiling taskmaster. On the other hand, your tattoos speak of a strange edge that is otherwise undetectable. It’s very intriguing.

Kat Von D

Show: LA Ink

Kat Von D is the star of LA Ink, spin-off of the TLC show Miami Ink. It’s the show where people get all tatted up and explain why their near-death experience being bitten by a shark is the reason why they need a tooth emblazened across their back. Von D is very eighties metal in her style (leather, studs, hair, hair, hair). It makes sense that Wikipedia reports that she is dating Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx.

Kevin Christiana

Show: Project Runway

The most recent season of Project Runway was bizarrely tattoo heavy. Even bird-like winner Christian was inked up with a picture of a squid. And because Rami was unadorned, we must turn our attention to token straightie Kevin Christiana. Kevin’s tattoos were a bit punk rock — or maybe I just think that because he usually wore black.

Angie

Show: Survivor — Palau

Angie is from an obscure season of Survivor (well, they’re all kind of obscure after a certain point), but I really have fond memories of her. She was the tattoed, awkward loner who never excelled in gym class, blah, blah. But then she turned around to totally dominate in challenges. She got cut lamentably early, but I’m still a huge fan.

Mark

Show: Top Chef

The good thing about these featured walking canvasses is the fact that their tattoos are compared with something unexpected (a smiley, centered fitness trainer; a fashion designer). With Mark, it’s a curly-headed cook with a New Zealand accent. I like the tribal design, even though in this picture he looks pretty ridiculous with the aviator shades and sleeveless number.

Starbuck

Show: Battlestar Galactica

I know this isn’t a reality show. In fact, it’s about as far away as you can get. However, I can’t let a notable tattoo like this go unnoticed.  Anders has a matching one, if you recall.  I like how it’s kind of tribal, which conflicts with the fact that they’re on a spaceship. That’s the good thing about Battlestar, when you get down to it — they focus on real issues and characters without getting bogged down on the science fiction (which is just an effective backdrop).